How Can I Help You?

Diverting from the original plan of posting a blog about the alleged charges placed against one ________<-------(insert name) for the possession of__________<--------(insert controversial object here) and risking subsequent defamation (OMFG) , I decided to post an entry about my work: Conveyors of Fine Quality Chicken LOL jks Red Rooster.

Its gotta be red, but in my opinion it has to be dead. Because if it was red, doesn't it mean that it's raw? I am willing to risk salmonella (strange that it has the word salmon?) just because I wanna eat some raw non-dead chicken? Did you know that chickens delivered to Red Rooster still have heads? Or at least I think so...it could be their butts...
Moving on...

I witness a strange and fascinating array of customers, from my position of Cashier (prestigious, I know), from the violent, deaf and hyperactive just to name a few.
And then there is the just plain stupid who order things like : A bacon burger without the bacon, or the opposite: a fillet burger with bacon. And people who come in drive threw, waiting over 5 minutes just to buy a drink, when they could have walked into the store, bought a drink and then left...

And last night, I fell victim to a con-artist. A woman, early twenties ordered a nugget quickfix (3 nuggets, bag of chips and a small drink, $4.95). Somehow the kitchenhands forgot her order and in their haste, took 3 nuggets from a kids meal and put them in the quickfix box instead. I handed the woman her quickfix and she drove off.

Approximately five minutes later the woman returned, stating that she only got one nugget. Of course, this was not true, as I, another cashier and the kitchenhand all saw three nuggets go into the quickfix box. Obviously the woman was unsatisfied with only three nuggets and decided to return for more. WTF
Anyways it is an unspoken rule that one does not argue with the customer, the customer is always right, even if it is blatantly obvious that they are not. So much to my displeasure the woman left with fresh chips and more nuggets.

I hope it goes straight to her thighs.

Oh and by the way, did you know that the tropicana has a whopping 4000kjs?

Yum...

Head Girl?

Head Girl, it is the dilemma we face, as young and impressionable year eleven students.  Many of us are asking the question, "Should I try for head girl?". Me, on the other hand, sitting in the pavillion, while Jac mindlessly scrawled on my leg with black pen and Jasmine decided to use me as an arm chair, considered, "Wouldn't it be funny if I was head girl?". Alas, it most likely would be. I form my speech in my mind, as I would address the senior school, "Why should I be head girl? Well, because, I have a head and I am a girl. Everybody wins."

Im pretty sure by this stage, Mrs Ethell would have hastily ushered me off stage, while Mrs Mac would be giving me evils.

But, what really makes a head girl? Grades? Attitude? Teacher-student relations? Asianess? The ability to use large words and perfectly timed pauses?

Curly Hair?

Nobody really knows.

I believe it should be based on what the Head Girl can do for the school. Seeing how many students you can put in detention for wearing scarfs in assembly is not an example. It's about making changes, or as Gillard puts it "Moving Forward". Which we as Perth College students, hindered by the amish-style uniform, stockings and hair regulations and regular chapel, could not be anymore backwards. Maybe Gillard is on to something afterall.

Yes, it's about the policies.

If I was head girl, there would definately be some changes.

Policy One: I would bring cash back to the canteen. Who came up with the hideous card idea anyway? Here I am, a private school student without lunch. I have a few $100 notes in my pocket (Thankyou daddy!) and yet I cannot spend them. What else am I susposed to do with this money? Give it to homeless people? Save some puppies?

What is the world coming to?

Policy Two: Supply tissue boxes to every classroom! Here I am, sniffing away, sounding like a complete retard, resisting tempation to wipe the snot on my jumper because I have no tissues! Seriously, I pay $15,000 every year, I think I have the right to tissues! (Don't even get me started on the toilet paper!)

Policy three: Get rid of Open Day! I mean seriously, is it even legal? I couldn't think of a more stupid idea! Being forced to come to school on a sweltering hot day when your family get to party at home (Literally in my case, Open Day often falls on my Dad's birthday). And the year 10s get to show complete randoms around the school. What if they were pedos? or rapists? or Bible Bashers? And who in their right mind would trust year tens with strangers?

That would not end well.

In conclusion, these are my main policies, but of cource I have more, the genious brain I have is flourishing with wonderous ideas. Vote for me!.. or not.

No Seriously.